Everyday I question if I’m good enough to be a writer. A lot of us do. I think it’s all part of the profession. I imagine even Neil Gaiman has his days where he questions his talent (He’s like a god of writing if you didn’t already know).
Projects keep me going. As long as I keep getting published and have more work ahead of me, I feel somewhat validated. I have at least two more novellas left in my Embracing Entropy trilogy to be released by my publisher European Geeks, and book 2 is already drafted.
But it’s never enough.
I got real frustrated recently, as one does, and posted one of my better works that kept getting rejected on here not so long ago. The response helped to assure me that it isn’t the story, it is the unique qualities of it that set the tale so far apart from others that no publication can place it.
This has become an ongoing battle for me. I’m super imaginative and never lack originality. I do wish to up my technical skills and improve in my style, but the main issue has been that some of my stories (a lot actually) are so out there that they stand alone. They don’t fit the themes a publication or anthology is going for.
Some of my stuff has just outright sucked, but for the most part I write some weird shit. haha
Well my publisher read the story posted on here and it led to a fun string of comments that may have led to a potential short story collection. I say potential because I’m working on getting everything polished and lengthened right now.
It’s harrowing work. I’ve never hated myself more. Going back to those first stories makes me want to gouge my eyes out. What the hell was I thinking?
The greatest part of being a writer, is that you can always revise. And I am masochistically enjoying tearing my stories apart and reworking them like Dr. Frankenstein.
Odd right? One minuet I say I hate myself, the next I talk about enjoying my work: welcome to the life of a writer.
I feared I didn’t have enough material at first, but in going through my folders and some new story ideas, I think this may actually some together. Everything that’s happened in my writing career has just kind of fallen into place. And I am super thankful for that.