I’m always writing. The mind doesn’t stop just because your body needs to slow down. My new baby boy is just about 6 weeks old and I’m facing something I didn’t have to with my daughters.
I love my job. My office is full of fun people who know how to mix fun and work. But when I had my 1st 2 children I was a stay-at-home writer. I made a lot less $ but I had something more valuable, time with my babies.
Call me blessed, lucky, privileged, hard-working, whatever it was I was granted the opportunity to be there for my kids full-time. When they went to bed, I worked from the comfort of my living room.
I drew from my grandmother and everything she taught me. She lived in a time when women had more domestic roles and weren’t often afforded the many choices and opportunities as my peers and me. She was the kind of woman who lived in an era when many people agreed with racial division but never allowed anyone to say the N word around her. My mother and her siblings didn’t dare utter it because grandma believed that everyone deserves kindness and love.
When I went back to work I struggled, but I had earned my way into a position with the benefit of a flexible schedule, vacation time, and since recently buying a house close to work I can take my hour lunch break at home with my baby. I still draw from my grandmother’s approach. Kindness and love pull you through.
Today is my 1st day back in the office. I spent my time off being mommy the storyteller. My writing schedule grew more relaxed but I still get to finish a few projects and soak in some slight praise.
Everything in my life and career has come together on a whim. Serendipity is watching me and sometimes lends a hand. I miss being at home every second of every minute I am away. But I got to cuddle and feed my son on my break. I get to write for a living. I worked my tail off to get here and I am filled with a relief.
I thought this would be harder. Oh it’s hell leaving, and hell when I feel a twinge and know that my son needs me. It’s hell working to balance everything and decide what can be sacrificed and what cannot.
Let me also admit that my husband is home with our kids during the day and is the most supportive, loving, weirdo I’ve ever met. It doesn’t stop my mind from racing through all the things that could go wrong, but it offers a comfort that I know not all women have.
By this time next year I plan to be working from home full-time. Between now and then I have already found ways to squeak in extra projects while giving my children the time they need and deserve. Ask me how sleep deprived I am in 6 months. Haha
I refuse to allow anything to get between me and my family, and at the same time nothing has ever stopped me from writing.