I got one of the best surprises ever from my publisher today: my sci-fi novella By the Stars has been nominated for an Indie Book award!
Everyone jump up and down
and dance around the room with me.
Okay, now that we’ve celebrated a little, I have a confession. I have a strange fear of awards. They bring on a lot of responsibility and I have known a few too many situations where winning isn’t about what’s best, but what’s more well known. I guess that makes sense, popularity is a part of book sales, and nominations help gain more notoriety.
I’ve already had my “It’s an honor just to be nominated” moment more than a few times today because it really is. But I don’t want to want it. If I want to win and I don’t, then there’s that empty feeling of disappointment, and nobody wants that. haha
Sure there is a chance By the Stars will win. I’ll be sure to clue everyone in when voting opens. Maybe we’ll get this thing going! Who knows, I’ve got a shot.
But I’m a writer. I’ve been at this for a bit now. I’m used to rejection. I’ve come to expect it. Can’t keep going if I let rejections tear me down.
So does that mean that writing has made me a pessimist?
I don’t base my value as an author or a writer on awards, sales, or hell even getting published. Those are what help me know that I am succeeding in reaching people. But to succeed in writing one must do one thing, write. And I don’t mean sit down and just write, I mean learn your craft, tailor it, customize it, and pour that shit out until you feel fucking dizzy. heehee
With each new piece I create, I take more time and drain more energy to perfect what I’m trying to shape out of my head into the physical world. I wrote by the stars over a year ago now. It seems like a lifetime has passed since then. Having the opportunity to look back over it and know that it has touched others is all I need. If winning an award or even being lucky enough to receive a nomination aids me in sharing the human connection with others then HELL YEAH!
I don’t expect anything from it, but then again I never set out to become a writer. I fell into this profession. I somehow stumbled into my first writing deal and from there have received 3 more.
It’s been one hell of a ride and this is just another stop on the way.