I think my computer missed me. Being back at the office after having a baby is odd. There is the comfort of getting back into working a job I love, but I hate leaving my kids.
I wrote about it the last time I was in this boat:
That never gets easier. I’m learning. I love to work and write and do everything, but I never want that to cut into family time.
This morning I found myself clinging to my 6 week old son, Carlin. We had plenty of time together. He sleeps in the bed with me and my husband and I get up early to have one-on-one with him. That doesn’t matter though. Mom guilt is REAL and it’s okay.
My 8 year old laughed. She told me, “Mom, stop being so dramatic,” while the toddler was running circles next to us.
My eldest is almost 11 and she was shaking her head at me saying, “He’ll be okay, Mom. You’re coming home on your lunch break.”
That is a gift I never take for granted. Not only getting to write for a living but having the opportunity to break up the day by coming home to feed the baby and play with my little ones for lunch is something I never imagined possible. Plus there has been more room for work-from-home opportunities in the schedule. Sure my company wants us to be a team, but once or twice a week the home office is ready.
It’s easier than I expected. When I express my gratitude, there has been some negativity about how “privileged” I am, as if I didn’t work my ass off to get this situation created haha
That cracks me up because I worked 2 and 3 jobs in my late teens and early 20s to gift myself the “privileges” I earned. Nothing was handed to me, not ever. I created my own luck by investing all my time and effort into bettering myself.
Nipsy Hustle said something that truly resonates with me:
It’s so true. Yes there will be good times and hard times, but a lot of successes are born from one’s inability to give up. Even when I was homeless I had a job. Even when I thought there was no hope I spoke to myself and my Gods to remind me that every negative thought could and often is wrong.
Today is a lovely day. I get to keep working toward the life I love and I’m happy to do so. Some things will work out and others won’t, but if I can inspire any of you to do anything I hope it’s for you to take on every new challenge with hope and grit.