Conscious Living

I like to wake up grateful everyday. It’s not always easy. Everyone’s had pain in their life, physical, mental, and spiritual, but it’s easier to have fun and smile at the world when you think of the broader picture and look at struggles as a learning experience.

That mindset is a constant job. There are times when everyone falls short of their own expectations. When I was a kid I dealt with poverty and abuse by feeding stray animals. When I was working double shifts at a full time job while finishing high school, I focused on graduating so I had a light at the end of a dark tunnel. When I was going through a divorce I let the love of my children, and my faith carry me through it all.

It is a conscious decision I make every day to remind myself that, although I cannot control the actions of others, I can control myself and how I react to others.

I’m getting older, and I hope wiser haha But even the little things trip me up sometimes. It’s not easy for me to slow down. I like to keep busy and stay active. This is a gift and a curse. I have 4 children that I love chasing around, but I also have 3 different writing jobs plus others I sometimes take on.

If I don’t take care of myself everything falls apart. Thankfully nothing is ever hopeless.

Waking up early, stretching and exercising before I dive into everything has been a regular routine since I was a kid. But recognizing my limits isn’t. So I have to admit that I’ve been skimping on the stretching to save time. That’s probably the worst one to cut out, because yoga is as meditative as it is physical.

When one aspect is missing, the others start to fall apart. Less yoga led to less actual meditation, and that of course led me to sprain my foot last week, which led me to throw my back out yesterday.

But, I think it’s good to be reminded of my humanity at times. No one is perfect and no matter how much I work to be a balanced individual, things have to fall apart sometimes so I can rebuild and remember what it’s all for.

I found myself having to stop and do an hour of yoga just to stand up straight. My body said, “Nu uh,” and I’m sure the gods were laughing as I dramatically crawled to the living room screaming to my daughter, “Roll out the yoga mat, quick!”

Nothing feels as good as relief from pain: the relief of safety after peril, rest after over-exertion, and love after heartbreak.

I skimped on stretching and now I can’t because if I do my body will feel like a rock, heavy and unmoving. This morning’s yoga held so much beautiful relief. The pain of waking up, got me out of bed early enough to properly meditate and consciously employ my energy and my actions with better balance.

That’s always at the core of my non-fiction. Writing about my experiences to help others achieve balance is where I started. It’s where I always come back to when I veer a bit.

When I wrote my first full spiritual book, I was able bodied, but I thought of my mother who has bad knees, and especially my grandmother who could barely walk before she died. While I don’t want to find myself in either of their shoes, the possibility is there and I wrote meditations and practices for people who had mobility issues because of it.

At times I didn’t understand where the worlds were coming from, but maybe authors are truly time travelers and I was tapping into my future self to offer the information I would need. Maybe our cosmic connection to language and communication allows us to speak with the Gods and bring back messages. Whatever it was, it helped me today, and I know it will help me in the future.

My body found relief after pain, and I wish everyone relief from whatever ails them today.

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