My BRAIN!-help (it’s all wobbly today)

I’m a chronological thinker.

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I like a steady timeline. My beginning, middle, and end don’t have to be completely streamlined, but I do find it frustrating when things get out of order. Especially in real life.

Lately I’ve been struggling with the order of publishing. I write in different genres and have a body of work that continuously grows. It’s what happens when you become an author. But submitting and publishing are not about which story came first, everything is chaos.

You throw your stuff out there and wait. Some publishers work faster than others and certain stories don’t get placed easily. My shorter works are everywhere. I have non-fiction pieces, fantasy, sci-fi, children’s, everything is chaos.

I’ve learned to accept that some stories will find a home faster than others, and having a variety of work waiting to be picked up keeps the ball rolling. It allows me to wake up some days and receive the acceptance that I’ve been dying for. It also leaves me open for the hits that rejection gives, and man do they hurt sometimes.

You get used to it. But damn. Novels are so big and take a wealth of time to prepare. It makes me struggle when things have to be rearranged. My Embracing Entropy novella series got pushed through fast.

embracing-entropy

https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Entropy-Jessica-Marie-Baumgartner/dp/1943755205/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485884981&sr=8-1&keywords=embracing+entropy

It was a whirlwind of awesomeness. But now I have a fully edited sword & Sorcerer fantasy novel just sitting here waiting to be placed. If it was a stand-alone it would be easy to submit, but the damn story decided to be ANOTHER trilogy.

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I have outlines for book 2 and 3 ready to go and the 1st chapter for book 2 finished. Series bring a LOT of pressure. I can take it. I can handle pretty much anything at this point in my life, but my first novel-the monster that claws at my brain at night-is still unfinished.

Oh she is completed in the sense that the story is written, but she was my first. Meaning all the self-edits have been rough. I had gotten so frustrated that I put her in my duds folder and almost deleted her entirely.

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The thing is I know she has promise. And I have gained so much editing experience and have let her sit for so long now that I’m dying to tear her apart and get her primped up . Polishing is the most difficult part of writing. Writing is editing and editing is writing. If you don’t take the time to not only grow your skills, but also let your work sit for a while before you come back to it, AND get outside feedback, the story will suffer.

It will take me at least 3 months to clean her up. Probably 6. I was a terrible writer before I became an author. I thought I knew what I was doing, but experience has a way of showing us our worst faults.

Time is also an issue. I could die tomorrow. The odds are in my favor, but that clock is always ticking. It drives me and weighs me down at the same time.

So here I am with a children’s book slated to be released this year, and a finished novel ready to get out and find its place, yet I’m tripped up on the timeline. There is an urge to get the first baby out. She’s been waiting for so long.

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It’s so easy to say, stories get published when they’re ready, but I feel like I’ve been carrying a half born baby around since 2014. 3 years is nothing in the long scheme of publishing, but on the level, it’s an eternity.

Each release is different. Each story holds another piece of the writer’s soul. My heart is about ready to explode.

This is where patience and persistence play a major role in an author’s life. I can get anxious, I can want whatever I want and set goals and try any angle, but pushing down that initial urge to publish, publish, publish is important. Harnessing all that energy and focusing it into the current projects and my upcoming release will aid my career far more than jumping the gun.

I hate it when things get out of order. It drives me nuts that some books get picked up before others, but it’s all up to me. My damn little quirks are fun to fight sometimes. Following my gut, my intuition, is what I have always done and got me this far.

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It’s a rambly, kooky kinda day.

Being a writer makes you feel like a bird sitting on her nest.

Being an author make you wanna jump about as you feel the eggs moving, but I still gotta hold out and keep things warm.

That’s life. We all hit a point where we get sick of waiting. We worry about where things are going. It’s easy to get carried away.

fav-bugs

Instead of letting everything pile up, I’m going to go outside and take a walk. That always helps. Breathe and talk to some trees or something. Maybe sing. Never forget the things that keep you going, or the people. They’re there for a reason.

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