“I just want to write a book, publish it, and hold it in my hands and know that I wrote it–I made it. I don’t care if anyone reads it. If they do, great! If not, it doesn’t matter, because I wrote a freaking book!”

I said that a lot while writing The Call of Chaos. I said it even more while editing the book. Editing is often a painful endeavor and it requires more encouragement sometimes. It became a mantra of sorts–words to live by. I would do this, and then I would bask in the awesomeness and enjoy it. It was my goal.

It was also a lie. A big, fat “the cake is a” lie. Sure, it’s what I thought I wanted. No, it definitely was part of what I wanted. But I was mistaken in thinking that it was all that I wanted.

I had psyched myself…